Destroyed by Deception (Amethyst College Saga Book 1) Page 5

  As he finished he gently touched a finger to my cheek and lifted my gaze to his.

  “Take the bed, Ella. I’ll sleep on the floor.” His voice sounded worn and much older, as he pulled my sneakers off, placing them on the floor. I climbed under the covers, trying to reconcile with myself how awkward this situation was. As he pulled the coverlet over me, he kissed the top of my head and moved towards the door. I swallowed hard; Abe’s kiss and tenderness were pulling at my heartstrings. It reminded me that some people were actually good and cared about helping those around them.

  “Abe?” My voice came out as almost a whisper. He paused, turning on his heel to face me.

  “Yeah, Ella?” His eyes slowly traveled up to my own and the heat I saw there, made me shudder again and my voice shook as I spoke.

  “Thank you.” It was all I could manage and he gave me a little smile, nodding once, before turning and heading back out the door.

  “Don’t mention it.”

  I was just beginning to nod off when, a few moments later, he came back into the room. He was loaded with a pillow and a few blankets over one arm, and carrying a glass of water in the other. He dropped the pillows and blankets onto a chair by the desk and came towards me with the tumbler. He sat on the bed beside me, and I shimmied up the bed until I was in a sitting position.

  “Here.” He held out his hand and dropped two little round pills onto my hand. I stared at them, and grimaced, offering them back.

  “I don’t take pills.” I answered in a small voice.

  “You need them, Ella.” Shaking my head slowly; so as not to stir my headache, I chewed my lip in consternation, looking up at him, ready to give the pills back when his eyes met mine. He lowered his lips and gently pressed his mouth to mine, breathing out,

  “Please, just take them.” I sighed softly at his persistence and placed them on the nightstand beside me.

  “I’ll take them if I feel like I need them.” He nodded, kissed me softly once and placed the water down beside me, before standing and grabbing the covers and pillow. He arranged a makeshift bed on the floor, turned out the light, basking the room in a soft glow from the lights on the quad. He lay down, speaking to me as his head hit the pillow.

  “I have an early practice tomorrow, then class until eleven. Do you have any morning classes?”

  I shook my head in response, wincing in pain as my head throbbed painfully and realized he couldn’t see me anyway, so I spoke in a low voice.

  “No, I don’t have any Monday classes.” He didn’t say anything for a while and I assumed he’d fallen asleep. I slipped down his bed and closed my eyes as soon as I was comfortable on the pillow. The pounding on my skull was continuous, but I’d been through worse so I did my best to ignore it, biting my lip to stop any noise escaping.

  Images flashed through my mind and I bit down hard on my lips, almost to the point of drawing blood, as the night I’d taken too many pills flashed into my mind. “Ella,” remembered voices chanted, “it’s your fault.” “All your fault.” “Your family would be better if you were dead…” I pulled my hand up and stuffed it into my mouth as a sob threatened to break free. Swallowing back, I tried to pull myself back to the present when a door slamming nearby made me jump a foot into the air.

  “Ella, you okay?” Abe’s voice asked from across the room and I shuddered as another memory washed over me. I could hear movement on the floor and a second later the bed moved as Abe sat in the space beside me. “Ella?” He asked closer now and his fingers reached out and touched my neck gently.

  He must have felt moisture there because a second later I was in his arms. “Shhh,” he murmured softly against my forehead, “it’s okay. I’ve got you. You’re safe now.” His words opened up the wounds from my past that hadn’t ever healed and I broke down completely and sobbed against his shirt. He said nothing, but held me tight and let me cry on him. “Ella, if this is because of me, I’m sorry.”

  His gruff voice sounded loud in my ear and I shuddered as his arms wound tighter around my waist as he continued speaking. “I gotta sort some shit out before I can touch you, but please believe me. I want nothing more than to lie here with you, nothing more than to hold you and protect you.”

  I nodded and sat up a little pressing my lips to his cheek. “It’s okay, Abe. I get it, no stress.”

  He moved me down into the bed, “It’s not okay, but you need to sleep and I need to get some sleep too or coach’ll have my ass tomorrow.” He pulled the comforter over me and stroked his fingers along my cheeks and down onto my neck, holding me by the shoulders. The gentle pressure of his touch eased, but his hands shook and he pressed a soft kiss to my forehead before he backed away. As he moved away thoughts of my past threatened to overwhelm me again, but Abe’s softly spoken words broke into my thoughts and stopped the painful memories in their tracks.

  “Wait here for me to get back from class.” Smiling in the darkness, I knew that I would do what he asked and wait for him. He’d been nothing but gentlemanly to me and he made me feel safer than anyone else ever had before. I lay in the darkness and thought of Abe’s face as his scent invaded my nostrils and after a few moments his soft breathing was the only sound I heard. I drifted off to sleep with the light sounds of his breathing sounding in my ears.

  The silence lulled me into a dreamless sleep and although I heard his alarm go off in the morning, I didn’t wake, but I thought I felt lips press against my head as I slept. His scent washed over me again and I drifted back off to sleep. A shrill scream broke the silence like a gunshot in a sleepy suburb, followed by banging doors and I jerked awake, my body thrumming as my adrenaline took over. My head pounded in the early morning light and I closed my eyes, waiting for the pain in my head to subside. More banging followed and I covered my eyes with my hands. I was panting as a wave of nausea threatened to engulf me, but I managed to swallow it down.

  Suddenly the door to Abe’s room flew open and my eyes opened to see Rachel. She stood by the door in tight fitted jeans, a cream colored top and her raven hair flowing down her back, but her face was tightened in anger. I could barely see her through the pain in my head. My vision was clouded and it took a moment before it cleared. She stepped closer into the room, taking in my position and the mess of the bedclothes around me. She stepped furiously towards me and I scooted up the bed, ignoring the hammering of my head.

  “What are you doing in my boyfriend’s bed?” I rubbed my eyes as she roared at me and stared at her wondering what I should say. If I was her, I’d have been furious as well. I wanted to smooth things over, but she was grabbing my arm and yanking me out of the bed, so I didn’t get a chance to speak. I smacked my head on the floor because I was unable to get my other arm out of the covers I was tangled up in, in time to stop it. She stepped over me and glared down at me. My heart pounded in my chest and she lifted her foot, as though she was going to step on me. I rolled onto my side and scuttled backward, using the wall at my back to help me into a sitting position.

  Her advance towards me, made me look up and I pushed myself onto my knees. Her hand struck out at my face and my rage flared. I was done being a victim. No one would be hitting me again. I held onto her hand and squeezed, watching with pleasure as her eyes widened as she winced in pain. I squeezed tighter and she squealed like a mouse caught in the mouth of a cat.

  “Don’t fucking touch me,” I bit out at her, climbing to my feet and shouldering Rachel aside. I grabbed my shoes and walked out of Abe’s room, leaving her petrified with shock. She rushed out a few seconds after me, charging me into the wall and screaming in my face.

  “Stay away from Abe. He’s mine.” I shook her off, laughing at her pathetic behavior and stormed further into the common room. Liv was watching, grinning like a tiger with a mouse between its paws and the sight of her smile made me feel sick. I ignored her completely; it was obvious that she thought she had the upper hand having instigated Rachel’s investigation into Abe’s room. I made my way across the room as Rachel stormed out, murmuring under her breath and slamming the door to the corridor at her back.

  I was opening my bedroom door when something whistled across the room and shattered against the wall a foot to my left. I heard Liv tittering behind me. My blood boiled, the adrenaline was thundering in my veins and before I could stop myself, I was halfway across the room, heading towards her. She raised her right arm to strike me, I caught her wrist, hooked my right heel behind her ankle and twisted her round. Her right arm tucked neatly behind her head, and I held her face pressed tightly against the door. I was breathing hard, and when I felt her struggle against me, I lashed out with a fist onto the wall at her side. I wasn’t a bully and I refused to hit her, even though the bitch deserved it and more.

  “You will stop fucking with me. Do you fucking hear me?” I waited for a second before twisting her arm a little further and howling into her ear. “Do you hear me?” I asked and she whimpered miserably and went limp in my grasp. Suddenly a door opened at my back, but I ignored it speaking quietly into Liv’s ear. “I’m done. I’m so done with you and your games. Touch me again bitch and you’ll see what I can do. I mean it.” My heart hammered loudly in my ears, blocking out all other sounds and a pair of hands grabbed me and threw me aside. I looked up stunned to see an older man standing there, glaring down at me.

  “How dare you touch my daughter? Do you know who I am?” Spittle sprayed in all directions, as I took in his enraged, puce-colored face and his mustache was fluttering. I shook my head and Rachel began wailing.

  “Daddy, it’s been awful. She has been attacking me constantly and I’ve had to get my friends to watch my back because I’m scared she’s gonna get me.”

  Her dad shook his head and swore loudly, “girl, just who in the fuck do you think you are? You think you can hit my daughter?” His mustache fluttered and the floor shook as he stomped towards me, “you will not touch her again, you silly little cunt.” I sat there on the floor, shivering in both shock and fear as I realized that my fighting back had just caused a storm that was going to rain all over me again.

  After a few seconds, I picked myself up and moved towards my room. I didn’t make it into my room because I heard thundering footsteps and I spun around to face whoever was coming towards me. Rachel’s dad was there and he shoved me viciously up against the wall, his enormous stomach leaning into me as he got into my face, waving a chubby digit at my nose.

  “You will stay away from my daughter. If I find out you have touched her again, I will have you arrested and charged with assault.” He shoved me away from him hard and stormed back the way he came, leaving me shaking as I realized that I couldn’t stand up for myself at all. I couldn’t do anything to her because she had a witness against me.

  I walked on quivering legs into my room and realized that I needed to go to the student housing office. Hopefully, they could do something to get me out of this situation. I couldn’t stay here for the year, it would kill me, but I could not just leave either. My dad already hated me and wanted nothing more to do with me, but I didn’t want to affirm his belief that I was a useless waste of space so I had to find a way to stay.

  I needed a shower and while the rest of the dorms were at class now was the perfect time for a shower. I peeked out of my room, checking to make sure the coast was clear, before rushing out towards the shower room. My body thrummed as I made my way towards the bathrooms and I ignored the pounding of my brain against my skull as I made my way into the bathroom.

  There were a few stragglers in the bathroom, but the water thankfully was warm and the shower room, at the back of the bathrooms, was empty. I decided to shower in there because it had the benefit of a door that could be locked and also the privacy that I needed to allow myself to relax. As I moved towards it, one of Rachel’s friends came out of the showers and as I passed her by, she barged into me, murmuring “skank,” almost, but not quite, under her breath. Her pretty brown hair swung damply around her waist as she moved away from me.

  I ignored her and continued into the shower room, locking the door at my back and collapsing against it for a second. The room was about ten feet long and six feet wide, with a bench against the wall behind me. I placed my clean underwear there and put my towel on the hook on the shower stall, along with my toiletry bag. I washed and plaited my hair, careful to keep my face out of the spray of the shower.

  As I stood under the water, the events of the past few weeks caught up with me and I sat on the floor and cried as the water continued to spray on me. I broke as I thought about my mom, my dad's hatred of me, my brother's indifference and my sister’s spitefulness, but mostly I broke down because I was so sick of being hurt and I missed my mom so badly my chest ached. When my tears subsided, I stood and turned off the cold water, grabbing my towel and drying off quickly. I put Abe’s shirt back on with clean underwear and gathered my things, ready to head back to my room when I heard voices in the bathroom.

  I couldn’t go anywhere. I was trapped and they’d find me soon enough. “Grace,” a voice called, “you sure you saw her come in here?” My heart pounded in fear and someone banged on the door of the shower room. “Found her,” another voice called and the light flickered and went out. Luckily my cell had a torch function and I lit it, sitting in the corner with my wet hair dripping onto the shoulder of Abe’s shirt.

  I didn’t move for the longest time, but I knew I couldn’t stay locked in a cold damp shower room forever. I gently pulled the lock back and peeked out into the bathroom, not seeing anyone. I stepped out of the shower room and felt something crunch underfoot. A sharp pain went into my foot and the lights in the bathroom flickered on. The girls had lined the floor with pieces of glass and my light shower shoes were no match for the glass fragments. I walked carefully along, trying to avoid the shards, but they were everywhere. My feet were burning by the time I reached the corridor, and as I glanced back into the bathroom two of the girls came from the stalls.

  I hurried along the corridor, ignoring the soft trickle of blood from my feet as I rushed into my room, slamming the door closed at my back. I moved towards my dorm and locked the door, feeling a burning in my chest as I slid down the door and pulled my wrecked shoes from my feet. A few of the smaller shards of glass were still attached. I scuttled across the floor on my bottom and grabbed my first aid kit from the dresser.

  I cleaned the blood with antiseptic wipes, which burned, and put a plaster on each of my heels. The rest of my feet were okay, covered in small cuts, but nothing serious. As I pulled fluffy socks on, I remembered Abe’s gentle hands holding me the night before and a warmth settled in my chest, but then I remembered Rachel and how she’d found me in her boyfriend's bed and the warmth dissipated.

  I needed to distract myself because my head began pounding again so I picked up my iPod, putting on Save Rock and Roll to listen too, reading Jane Austin’s Emma for my English Lit class. My adrenaline had me shaking hard and the book slipped through my fingers as I crawled into bed. I put the album on low and decided to relax for a little while knowing my problems would still be there when I was more ready to face them.

  A few hours later, after reading some Charles Dickens and listening to Dec’s album on repeat, I realized I had to get up and face the world again. They wouldn’t break me; I’d decided that I would fight, that somehow I would find it in me to fight back again. If my mom’s death hadn’t destroyed me, then I could survive this too. Getting up and getting dressed was essential so I turned around and almost dived out of my window. Abe was standing in my doorway. He was still muddy and I smiled over at him, but his face was anything but friendly. He glared at me and I took my earphones out.

  “What happened to waiting on me getting back, Ella?” It was my turn to glare and I sat up, letting the covers drop to my waist.

  “I would have if your psycho girlfriend hadn’t barged in and started squawking at me like a demented parakeet.” His eyes widened and he swallowed convulsively.

  “You’re lying. If you didn’t want to wait for me to get back, you should have said something.” His face twisted in a sneer as he spoke and my face hardened, I felt my heart turning to lead inside as he looked at me that way.

  “Get out!” I screamed at him, wanting to throw something at him, anything to wipe that look off his face. He glared over at me, watching me struggle with his words before he spoke again.

  “Fine, you’re on your own now. I won’t step in again and help you out. Next time I’ll let them keep going?” I threw the coverlet aside as I sprung up, ripping his shirt over my head and throwing it at him.

  “GET OUT. I DIDN’T ASK YOU TO HELP ME AND I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN, SO FUCK OFF!” I howled at him, my heart splintering as his gaze turned glacial.

  “Fine.” He murmured, as I stood there in my underwear. I glared at him until he finally closed the door, before collapsing in a heap on the floor. Realizing I had just pushed him away and that I had lost the only friend I’d had in what felt like an eternity, I just lay there gasping. I gave myself a few minutes and then shook myself. Self-pity wasn’t going to fix this. I had to grab the bull by the horns and stop relying on others to protect me. No one would ever again and the sooner I realized it, the better it would be for everyone concerned. I threw some clothes on, shoved my books and laptop into my bag and grabbed a cereal bar. My feet burned as I put them into my shoes and my skull pounded, but I wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t.

  As I made my way to the door, my legs gave out and I collapsed in a heap, breathing hard. I counted backward in my head, struggling to contain the pain and fury inside, but I managed, after a while, to calm myself down. I glanced at the clock and saw it was midday. I needed to sort this all out. I’d try and find Abe and apologize, but I needed to see if I could find somewhere else to live first. Abe could wait, but my feeling threatened and exposed in this building couldn’t. Surely they’d be able to do something for me. The thought calmed me enough that I managed to get to my feet, ignoring the burning as I put weight on them. As I approached the door I could hear a number of voices on the other side and when I opened the door, I was faced with two of the student housing officers standing with Liv and her father.